DAY 145 - Dali, Yunnan, China

One day was all we had in Guilin but that was enough. Most of it is pretty much like any other Chinese city. Horrible white-tiled cubic buildings, soiled with the dirt from industrial development and rusting pipework. It's saving grace is its location right in the middle of the Karst landscape which meant there were pockets of natural beauty buried within the city's grid. With so much rock around, the local tourist board had gone into overdrive to find some animal or vegetable that each stony outcrop resembles in an attempt to pull in the punters. "Elephant Trunk Hill" did sort of resemble its tag, but only from one narrow angle of approach. We didn't see many westerners around which was surprising for such a major tourist destination.

Monday evening we set off for Dali. This involved a train (17 hours), a coach (5 hours), a local bus (the wrong one, 20 minutes) and another local bus (the right one, 30 minutes). The town itself must be one of the few places left in China that hasn't been bulldozed and rebuilt in the name of progress. It's laid out in the original square pattern, bordered on four sides by the original town gates. It's set on a gentle slope: to the east, one of China's largest lakes, to the west the first of the mountains which lead up to the Tibetan plateau.

Driving through the Yunnan countryside, it's was clear that China is developing fast, particularly its infrastructure. It's a shame they can't spend more on their people, most of whom appear dirt poor.

We had a look around town to start with. We were trying to find a supermarket, but most large shops seem to be tourist gift shops dressed up as "local food supermarkets". Dan's been "concerned" that we're running out of deodourant, but they don't seem to sell it here which raises some interesting questions. To be fair, it probably says more about our obsession in the West with excessive personal hygiene than anything else.

On Wednesday we took a cable car up into the mountains behind the town. At the top there was an 11km walk (or "cloudy tourist road" as it was called) around the twists and turns of the valleys. The clever thing was that despite being 2km up, the path was flat for it's entire journey, not rising or falling by more than 100m across it's length. Only in China. We were lucky with the weather too and the views were fantastic. At the other end was another cable car to take us down. Unfortunately at this point a local student latched onto us so he could practice his English. Trapped in a hanging basket, there was no escape. After telling us all about himself and asking about us in return, we luckily reached the bottom of the mountain. We were thus saved from him trying to order a meal (lesson 2) or asking directions to the train station (lesson 3).

On Thursday we were going to have a look at three pagodas (not that we haven't seen enough of them already). They wanted £12! Fortunately, you could see them from the road. They looked like they'd been put up in a couple of hours and were made of plywood. Not a patch on some of the older structures we'd seen earlier on our trip. Bit of a tourist rip-off we think.

 

Tonight's meal was pretty typical of the way restaurants and cafes works here. You order your starters and main courses and they arrive in a random order, one dish at a time, over the next hour. Frequently the starters arrive after the mains and if you have more than one main, you can easily have finished the first before the rest arrives. Tonight I ordered Lasagna. I got a pizza. When I pointed out Lasagna has pasta in it, not bread, I was told that was the way the Naxi (local people) do it. And there was me thinking it was Italian. That said, almost always the food is excellent, if not quite what you thought it would be.

DAY 140 - Yangshuo, Guangxi, China

Did you know that China only spends 1% of it's GDP on healthcare compared to 7% or 8% in Western nations? I only mention it because it was the first thing to go through my mind after the events described in the last paragraph below. Better that through my mind than a tree, I suppose.

 

The bus journey to Hanoi was considerably easier than our previous bus trips. In fact, it went rather well. After checking in at a reasonable hotel we decided to have a day off pagodas and stuff, so went to see Quantum Of Solace instead.

By a stroke of luck, the hotel we'd picked just happened to be very close to the area with the highest concentration of Bai Hoi (fresh beer) shops in the city. We spent each night sat on plastic children's garden furniture, wiling the hours away watching life pass us by (or, this being Vietnam, narrowly missing death by moped / taxi, every 20 seconds).

On Sunday we headed out to Halong Bay for a boat ride around it's deservedly famous water scape. Small mountainous islands rise sharply out of the water to look like giant dragon's teeth, covered with green bushes on all but the steepest slopes (the dragon clearly doesn't brush his teeth).

We stopped on floating platforms for a while where fishermen who live in small huts flog their produce at ridiculous prices to gullible tourists. The seafood is then cooked back on board by equally expensive chefs. Our reputation as cheapskates was not compromised. We had the free rubber squid and rice. Despite this, it was an excellent, if long, day out (three hours on a coach each way).

On Monday we splashed out again for a tour to the Perfume Pagoda. It was a long way. First, a couple of hours on a coach. Then an hour in a boat that was no more than a flattened out baked bean tin that floated precariously a couple of centimeters above the waterline. When a motorboat passed by, the resultant wake almost flooded us (ok, I exaggerate). Finally we took a cable car to the cave where the pagoda was located. On this occasion, the getting there was as much part of the trip as the destination itself. The tour guide was useless. His English was rubbish, he had no control over the group and he had little idea on where we were going. Apparently his full time job was as a member of a boy band. He should have stuck to the singing instead of trying (unconvincingly) to over charge us for cable car tickets.

For our last day in Vietnam we hovered around Hanoi itself. Finding shops to buy the basics is easy as the streets are named after the products they sell. So "clothes street" sells clothes, "shoe street" sells footwear and "counterfeit street" sells photocopied money (Oh yes! Apparently needed for religious purposes).

In the evening we got the train for China.

First stop has been Yangshuo. Whereas nearby Guilin is more famous, Yangshuo is smaller, friendlier and infinitely more prepared for western backpackers. The location is simply fantastic. The Karst scenery looks a lot like Halong Bay in Vietnam, but on land and magnified several times over. The weather is decidedly chilly - but not cold - which is perfect for cycling, so on Thursday we hired bikes and pedalled around the surrounding countryside for some gob-smacking views. There aren't masses of tourists here either which makes it even more pleasurable. The land is a hundred shades of green, only broken by the blue sky, the brown rock and the multicoloured fly-tipped rubbish the Chinese drop anywhere and everywhere.

In the evening we saw some Cormorant fishing. The fisherman ties an elastic band around the birds' throats (so they can't swallow) then takes them out onto the river on a bamboo boat. In the water the birds dive to catch fish and when their necks are bulging, the fisherman hauls the birds back on board and removes the fish with a good whack on the neck. Sounds cruel, but the birds behave like well trained dogs and don't try to escape, and they get a share of the catch at the end.

Generally I like China more than Vietnam. People don't try quite as hard here to rip you off. However, the locals do suffer badly from the Three S's: Shoving, Shouting and Spitting.

 

Friday we took a boat ride to view more of the scenery during the day and went for a lightshow in the evening. The lightshow was great and something only the Chinese could put on. With several hundred  performers, it was set on water with the Karst mountains illuminated behind it. Fantastic. It was a shame the locals had to shout all the way through it.

 

We liked Yangshuo so much, we decided to stay another day... Bad mistake.

 

Mum, you'd better stop reading now.

Our last full day in this part of China was a visit to the Dragon's Backbone rice terraces. The coach took us up into the hills and onto some windy roads, high above the fields. At this point the driver lost control of the coach as we rounded a bend and we crashed to a stop. The front window dropped out and the door (in a strangely comic way) fell off. We climbed out through the hole at the front, hinting to the driver that it may be a good idea to turn the electrics off. From outside we could see where we had landed. As the coach had left the road its front right wing had clipped a half meter high concrete wall. This was the only thing that had stopped us going over the edge and dropping at least 100 metres to the ground. Most of the bend had no protection at all so we were lucky to have hit it. One girl was taken away in an "ambulance" (a shuttle bus with no equipment and a cross painted on the side). Dan and I got away with bruised knees and frayed nerves. It's a bit scary when you realise your life was almost certainly saved by a small lump of concrete. I'll never slag off 60s architecture again. After all that we eventually got to the rice terraces only to find the place smothered in fog, so we couldn't see anything.

Oh well. That's travelling for ya.

DAY 132 - Hue, Vietnam

The bus trip to Hoi An was a right balls-up. We bought an "open tour" ticket designed for tourists (although with a few back handers to the driver, the bus soon filled up with locals). The trip was supposed to consist of two legs, both on a "sleeper" coach. Unfortunately for us the company we booked with hadn't bothered to phone through our booking for the connection, so after 10 hours on the first bus we arrived at the half way point and the connecting bus was full and unable to take us. We finally got a seat on a non-sleeper bus - the last two seats - right at the back. The suspension was suspect, and we bounced along like five year olds on a trampoline.

After about an hour we passed the sleeper bus on the side of the road. It had broken down. Oh, how we laughed. I couldn't help indulging in some schadenfreude at that one. We never saw it again. Our coach finally pulled into the back of a hotel in Hoi An where the gates slammed shut behind us. We were supposed to be good obedient tourists and book into that hotel (so the bus company could get it's commission). I don't think so, mate.

Hoi An was a breath of fresh air after Saigon/HCMC. It was a lovely little river side town with old yellow-washed buildings, much less traffic and much less hassle. The only slightly worrying thing was that every night the streets closest to the river flooded as the tide backed up the channel. The locals, never to miss a trick, had marked the high points of each rainy season's flood on the inside walls of their houses and showed them off to tourists.

It was also here that we discovered "fresh beer". Locally brewed, no preservatives, delivered daily and only 4000 Dong (16p) a glass. The quality was far from consistent though and each night was tantamount to spinning the roulette wheel. A good day would be a fantastic tasting drink and a fun evening. A bad day could mean a head in the pan and a stinking hangover. Loved it.

We had a tour on Tuesday to an old ruin called My Son which was nice. None of the ruins in Vietnam seem particularly well looked after, but that doesn't stop them charging you to see them.

The short trip to Hue ran more smoothly than the trip to Hoi An, although still took four hours. The hotel is reasonable and dirt cheap, and there's the usual mix of tombs 'n religious buildings to see. Generally a pleasant place, although the Lasagna I had last night was more like a beef noodle soup than anything of Italian origin.

Today it's been raining all day. We went to have a look at the Citadel where the kings of Vietnam used to live and got wet. My mother would call this sort of rain "wet rain". It rains lightly so you don't where a coat, yet still get soaked because it's actually raining quite hard.

Don't ask.

Tonight we brave the sleeper bus to Hanoi.

Rich.

DAY 126 - Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

Hi

The bus from Pangandaran to Jakarta took forever. It didn't even go into the city centre but dropped us off about 18km outside. We had to "negotiate" a taxi to the hotel. As usual, the gaggle of taxi drivers wanted us to do what they wanted rather than what we wanted, i.e. get into the cab they choose, to the hotel they want you to go to (so they can pocket the commission), with the meter off (so they can charge you what they like). It took a good half hour before we got our way.

That wasn't the only fun we had with transport in Jakarta. The next day we wanted to go to the nearby town of Bogor to see their "world famous" botanical gardens. We went by train and it took 8 hours in total with only 2 hours there. We could have walked there in less time than the train took. There was absolutely no departure information provided at all, in any language. The gardens themselves were pretty good, particularly considering the dirty city around them. The Orchid house was especially attractive.

On the Tuesday we sweated our way around Jakarta itself, starting off in the old colonial quarter. It wasn't really worth a visit as all the old Dutch buildings were literally crumbling away before our eyes and the canals had become nothing more than an extension of the sewer and dumping ground for anything people wanted to dispose of (although not, strangely, shopping trolleys).

We also visited the National Monument. A massive phallus in the centre of a park - a sort of Nelson's column with a gold flame on top. You could go up to the top, provided you were prepared to put up with the hundreds of school kids and the national anthem being played on loop at full blast for your entire visit. The views were good.

More rule of budget travel:
(4) Always ask for a discount. Can't do any harm, can it?
(5) Always check if tax / service are included. Those cunning blighters at hotel reception frequently 'forget' to mention it.

We flew to Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam on Wednesday. It's a compact sort of place and the hotel is somewhat claustrophobic.

The heat in the middle of the day is pretty bad, particularly when the sun is out. Then it tends to bucket it down in the afternoon and become very humid. The best place to hide from the elements are in the little ATM rooms. They have the best aircon in the city.

The pestering has reached new heights in Vietnam. It's not just the sheer number of hawkers and beggars, but the the lengths they go to to get your attention. I particularly hate the way they grab your arm as you walk by. They even walk into restaurants when your eating and poke you in the side to get your attention. This must be what it's like to be a parent. Maybe I won't get those cats after all.

On Thursday we wandered around the city to various museums and stuff, including the old presidential palace, the museum of American and Chinese War Crimes (which says all you need to know about the exhibits) and a KFC. On Friday we took a tour (for £4!). First on the itinerary (after the obligatory shop, naturally) was the Cao Dai Temple. It's the headquarter of a local religious sect who, literally, believe everything. They've fused Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, Spiritualism, Christianity and Islam. They were a very welcoming bunch of people who were quite clearly hedging their bets on the afterlife. The temple was an extremely ornate and very colourful building worth the trip alone.


Next up were the Cu Chi tunnels which turned out to be a tour of the history of the Vietnam war. They let us crawl though one of the tunnels dug to hide the Viet Cong from US bombing. It was horribly claustrophobic (even more so than the hotel room), even though they had doubled the height of it to allow "larger" westerners to fit in. There was a demonstration of all the nasty traps the locals devised to take out the Americans and blokes with an inferiority complex could shoot an AK47 assault riffle (for a dollar a bullet) and restore their self esteem.

We're having a easy day today before getting the bus to Hoi An.

Rich

DAY 119 - Pangandaran, Java, Indonesia

First, thanks to those of you who replied to my pleas for good news. However, learning that "Aston Villa won on Saturday" wasn't really what I had in mind. Anyway, they say no news is good news, so by that reckoning I've had all the good news i need by ignoring the BBC.

Shopping notes:
(1) It costs me up to 80,000 times as much as a local to send a text message!!!!
(2) They ship Evian in and charge 10 times as much for it than the local water (which is owned by Danone). Who buys the stuff at that price??!?!

The hotel in Yogyakarta was a bit like an old tart. Over made up on the outside but scruffy and peeling on the inside. The owner also seemed to have a thing for caged birds which I don't really approve of anyway, but particularly don't like when they shriek their little lungs out at five in the morning. Even over breakfast they were ear-splitting. We also had to change rooms because we could hear rats scurrying around in the ceiling.

We spent the first day in Joyja (as the locals call it) trying to sort out the rest of our time in Java. Just getting out of the city was proving problematic. Since the Bali bombs and Boxing Day tsunami tourist numbers have collapsed. The upside for us is that things are a bit cheaper, but the downside is that availability and choice has reduced as places and transport routes have closed down.

Day two was a tick-list of sights. Borobudur and Pranbanan were both impressive temple complexes which were interesting to wander around, although the sun and heat were stifling. On the last day we took a look around the city itself and the "highlight" of the Kraton (palace). Honestly, it was deeply unimpressive. Most of the rooms were whitewashed and tiled giving the impression you were viewing Indonesia's national treasures in some old school changing room. And they made you pay twice for the privilege.

Up until now, Dan has been the one suffering from mozie bites, but since arriving in Indonesia they've taken a shine to me too. I'm still suffering a lot less that my travel companion, but i've still had some bites that have inflamed up to the size of nipples and itched like hell.

I've decided to resurrect Williams's Rules Of Budget Travel from my last trip. I will add to these as i get sufficiently bored to think them up:

(1) If they want your money, they'll speak your language. (This is a general rule that applies everywhere except Russia where they just snarl and expect you to pay up.)

(2) When visiting a tourist attraction, never assume you have to pay. If you wander around looking like you need to give some cash away, there will always be someone to take it off your hands. Keep walking until either something (e.g. a barrier you can't climb) or someone (e.g. person with a gun or ticket machine) stops you. (You'd be amazed how much money this rule can save.)

(3) If locals speak to you, they want money. There is an argument in some quarters that some of them may just be being friendly, but in my experience any conversation that starts "hello, where do you come from?" inevitably ends "for you, only 10 US dollar".


On Thursday we took a mini bus from Jogja to Pangandaran. The road seemed to only have one lane - for traffic going both ways. They're supposed to drive on the left here but vehicles just go wherever there's a gap, however quick that gap is going to be filled by the very large lorry approaching very fast from the opposite direction.

Pangandaran is a beach resort and is emptier than an investment banker's employment prospects. They were hit by a tsunami in July 2006 which caused major damage and scared off the few remaining tourists who weren't put off by the Bali bombings or Boxing Day Tsunami. It's a shame really because you can immediately see the potential the place has. It's just a narrow strip of land pointing into the sea with a small jungle at the end. The beach is wide and sandy, but alas covered in rubbish, so it isn't ever going to win a blue flag.

We had a tour of the wider area today including demonstrations of how to make brown sugar from coconut oil and how to carve puppets. Naturally they tried to flog us the produce afterwards. We also visited the Green Canyon. It was green.

Tomorrow we head for Jakarta. Apparently they have traffic problems there...

Rich.