DAY 82 - Nara, Japan

Hello there. Last posting from Japan today. I've had a fantastic time here, but I can't wait to get to Sydney. I've had enough of rice, polite smiles, temples and bottom-washing loos to last me a few years. Australia will be familiar, English speaking and rice-free (well, at least there'll be an alternative). I've just discovered though that my two favourite pubs have both closed down, which has put a slight damper on it.

 

On Sunday we arrived in Beppu. It reminded me of Eastbourne in winter (coastal, wet, with a faded seaside glamour - but hot). The draw there were the thermal baths (Onsen) and volcanic springs. Each spring cost Y400 to have a look at, but the quality varied considerably. The places that only really had a small pool of coloured water or spring to look at tried to jazz up their attraction with displays of fish, animals or gardens, which were invariably rubbish. The most disappointing was the geyser, where we waited 20 minutes to see a small column of water strain to raise itself a couple of meters above the ground. Was a bit like watching a sink backing up. The best had fantastic Japanese gardens and lots of hot bubbling pools of varying coloured liquids and mud.

 

We had two main meals in Beppu. On the first night we had sushi on a conveyor belt - only i hate fish. Luckily they'd branched out of just seafood and had little burgers on rice and chicken nuggets on rice too. Very civilised. The second night we had all you can eat and drink for £14 which was a big mistake. Not saying anything else.

 

We also decided that this would be the place where we gave up the hotels and stayed in a Ryokan, a traditional Japanese Inn. The room had paper walls and dividers, and you had to leave your shoes at the main entrance and wear slippers everywhere (provided, but for people with feet considerably smaller than mine). Also, there were no showers in the rooms - we had to use the communal onsen on the ground floor and wander around in a dressing gown the whole time. All very interesting but two nights was enough. One peculiarity was the camera outside the room so they could see when you went out. Twice a day they'd pop in to change the table to a bed and back again, moving all your stuff around in the process. Grrrr....

 

Final destination in Japan is Nara. It took a while to get here and it's a nice enough place, but it's main draws are... you guessed it.... temples. We saw one set today and gave up. The flight goes at 21:50 later tonight and we've another day of temples to get through until then. Groan...

 

Rich.

 

DAY 77 - Kumamoto, Japan

There's a story "doing the rounds" that a Japanese / Korean / Chinese (delete as appropriate) bloke was opening a new shop and he wanted to print its name in English as well as Japanese / Korean / Chinese on the sign above the door. He thought he could save a bit of money by putting his shop name into a translation website. He did this, then had the full size sign made and mounted. On the opening day, someone pointed out that "Translator Server Error" probably wasn't the correct translation. The English in Japan are better than in China - but not by much, and you can't help but wonder where they get their translations...

Matsumoto is a small town in the Japanese Alps. It's a much nicer place than Morioka: more cosmopolitan, with more going on and fantastic mountain views from almost all street corners - a sort of Windermere to Morioka's Croydon. We got a very expensive bus up into the mountains, but any idea that we might be one of a few souls striding around the isolated hills Heidi-style was soon dispelled. There were literally hundreds of people there, all being herded, military-style onto and off the buses. The routes were all marked out and took advantage of the only flat bit of land for miles. Despite the easy access and remarkably unchallenging terrain, the Japanese were taking their days out very seriously. Most had all the gear on, heavy boots, waterproofs, walking sticks, etc. The walking sticks were mostly of the ski pole design and were handled almost like offensive weapons - on numerous occasions i came that close to having my feet skewered by some granny looking at her own feet (instead of where she was going) and charging along like someone who felt the countryside was something to endure rather than enjoy. And just to destroy any hope of getting back to nature, there were the ubiquitous convenience stores and vending machines every mile along the route. That said, the mountains themselves still managed to retain some majesty and there were even stretches (at the furthest distance from the bus station) where you could walk a few minutes without running into a tour group.

Next day we had a look around the town and the very impressive castle. It was a reconstruction as most of the big old buildings in Japan were knocked down the the late 1800s as Japan industrialised. There were a lot of steep steps. Many buildings here have wooden floors and they make you take your shoes off before entering. This is fine, but some places, as here, make you carry them around with you. It's very difficult to navigate the stepladders through the building with a pair of shoes dangling from your arm, and twice as hard for the army of pensioners that descend on these tourist attractions every day. Bottlenecks form and tempers fray. Mine mainly.

Nagasaki was next. As well as the obvious draw of the atomic bomb related sights, the place has an interesting history as Japan's "Gateway to the West". For several hundred years it was a foreign trading post for the European powers, so it has some interesting colonial-style architecture (which didn't get destroyed in the war) and gardens.

The food is still a on-going source of experimentation and amusement. Dan seems to be living on a constant stream of curry donuts and Iain eats anything and everything non-stop throughout the day - and is still losing weight. We've diagnosed a tapeworm.

Had a bit of horse last night. Tasted like beef jerky.

Now in a place called Kumomoto which has (another) castle - this time not as impressive as Matsumoto. I almost caused a diplomatic incident by taking my shoes off the wrong side of the line which (rather arbitrarily) divides the inside from the outside of the building. The Japanese can be rather anal when it comes to these things. It was an honest mistake but judging by the fuss, you'd think i'd burnt the place down or something.

The weather here is really oppressive - very hot and very humid.

Today we took a train, then bus, then cable-car up a volcano and oww'ed and ahh'ed at the steam and gas coming out of the top. That was as far as many of the other tourists got - they promptly took the cable car back down again after 10 minutes gawping. We decided to have a hike around the rim and climbed up one of the neighbouring peaks, naka-dake, for a better view. We had a picnic at the top which was all very civilised. Dan appears to be worn out by the beauty of the countryside cos it's only five in the after noon and he's asleep already...

To sum up Japan - fantastic countryside, really ugly cities.


Rich.


*** For maps, pics and stuff, see www.energiser.net ***

DAY 70 - Morioka, Japan

We had arranged to meet Dan's friend Iain Runcie at Tokyo airport where he would be joining us for the next three weeks while we're in Japan. He used to live here and speaks and reads some of the language which should be quite useful. He also has a number of friends in Tokyo and, after one of them picked us up from the airport and drove us to the hotel, we went out for some food with a group of locals. The restaurant was very traditional with no English spoken (or on the menus) and was the sort of place we would never get to try on our own. The flip side of this was that we had to take our shoes off on entering. This definitely affected our appreciation of the smell of the food given the extended washing cycle our clothing is operating under. Everyone was very polite though.

Japanese people are sooo polite. It makes you want to be polite back. It can be quite embarrassing at times.

Over the next couple of days we did some of the usual tourist sites in Tokyo. I've been there before but didn't mind seeing a few places again like Asakusa (temples and stalls) and Shinjuku (light pollution and mobile phone shops). I also got to go to the National Museum this time (which was shut on my previous visit). One new "experience" though was to go to a Karaoke Kan. My singing is renowned throughout England for its deep resonant quality and the expert tonal control i have, so it was an opportunity for Dan and Iain to have a private performance. You basically hire a small room (think broom cupboard) with a TV, large remote (to select your songs), a couple of microphones and lots of flashy lights. You then get one hour to scream to high-heaven and lose your voice, which we did. Great fun. I just hope the rooms were sound proof.

On Monday one of Iain's friends drove us to Nikko, about 100 miles north of Tokyo. It's another shrine complex, but a particularly big one. This was the first time I'd really got out of the cities while in Japan, and the countryside was worth the long drive.

Wednesday we took the train up to Morioka. (We've got rail passes which are only available to foreign tourists and allow you to go anywhere in Japan by train for two weeks for £230. Bargain.) It's a nice place but totally impenetrable. They clearly don't get many western tourists up here. No-one speaks English and although the restaurant names and the headings on the menus are written in English, it's impossible to work out what you're ordering as the rest is only in Japanese. I could hardly expect more: the menus in London aren't in Japanese, are they? It's funny that wherever you look, you see western influences but they usually turn out to be only skin deep. There are a couple of McDonald's, but they're the only American chain here. Almost all the other places sell exclusively Japanese style food. Fortunately most places (even posh establishments) either have pictures of the food or plastic mock-ups of their meals (!) to distinguish random-meat-product-'A' from random-meat-product-'B'.

One curious observation we've made is the random use of English on T-Shirts. People walk around - and we've seen this all over Asia - with completely meaningless statements on their chests. Clearly they don't know the meaning of what they're wearing. We saw a girl who couldn't have been a day over six years old with "I am bitch" written on her front. Weird.

Since we got here we've made good use of the rail passes and have been on local excursions to various temples and the like. Definitely suffering shrine-fatigue now though. It's difficult to maintain your interest on your one hundredth temple. There's not a lot of variation in design between one and the next.

On Friday we were going to climb the local volcano but it rained so we went to the cinema instead. Well, it would have been muddy and all that sulphur is a bitch to get out of your clothes...

Convenience stores are a laugh. There are at least two on every street, and they all sell pretty much the same stuff: rice pots, cans of coffee, grape Kit Kats, beer (in at least 7 sizes); you get the idea. The Japanese are renowned for having healthy, long lives. You wouldn't think it possible with all the crap that's sold in their shops.

Today we had another excursion to Kakunodate. It's a small town, laid out on a feudal plan with lots of old Shogun houses. It was very pretty if slightly underwhelming. Had a bit of a hangover from last night. Went to a restaurant where you could have as many drinks as you could down in 90 minutes for 1,200 Yen (£6). The beer is quite expensive here otherwise so this was a real bargain. The locals don't drink much, so we probably drank the restaurant's entire profit for the day away. Oops.

Rich.

DAY 62 - Seoul, South Korea

Hi

Well, i've been to my first war zone now. I'm pretty sure i'm not dead. Not sure what i can do to top that. By the way, there are loads more pics and now even some video on the blog (http://www.energiser.net/).

We flew into Seoul on Tuesday. The airport is so far out of the city it could well be in a different timezone, so it took forever to get to the hotel. There're not a lot of western tourists here which was a surprise and we got some funny looks sat on the Metro with our rucksacks, i can tell you. Clearly the locals aren't used to backpackers. That said, there are loads of American military types. They've got a huge base slap-bang in the middle of the city in Incheon, and it's patrolled by large numbers of security men wielding batons and pepper sprays, looking disconcertingly bored. Another consequence of their presence is that around the base there are lots of western shops and bars selling alcohol (and other 'stuff') at inflated prices - the whole area's quite seedy, actually.

The room in the hotel is small but was cheap. The towels are the size of serviettes and the toilet's in the shower, so every time you use the shower the loo roll disintegrates into paper mache, but at least the aircon works.

On Wednesday we did the obligatory tour of temples, although they're not as impressive as the ones in China. The weather is very hot and humid making long walks quite hard work. Had sausage and chips on a stick for tea. The stick runs through the sausage. God knows what they use to weld the chips to the sausage.

Starting to suffer from The Curse Of Asia. No cheese. We'll, they have processed cheese which tastes like rubber and sticks to your teeth so firmly that you need a chisel to remove it. Will be having cheese on toast every day, twice a day when i get to Australia.

Of course, Korea is probably most (in)famous for the fact it's split in two. There's a 4km demilitarised zone (DMZ) running down the middle separating the communist north from the 'free' south. It says something about the place that despite the ongoing tensions, both sides turn have turned the area into a tourist attraction. We visited on Thursday. There are a lot of rules and regulations when they drive you past all the barbed wire and mine fields (oh yes, they're still there) and in most places you're not allowed to take pictures (which is very annoying), but technically they're still at war, so it's definitely a unique tour.


The UN runs the south side of the zone and they make you sign a disclaimer saying you understand the UN can't guarantee your life while you're on their turf, but hey, its too late to turn back. A South Korean tourist was shot dead on the border by a North Korean soldier a few months ago for wandering off the official path. I carefully placed the other tourists in the group between me and the North Koreans while we were wandering about. It pays to be careful.

The highlight of the tour is to go into the one building where both North and South Koreans can enter and meet. They use it for negotiations and it straggles the border at Panmunjom. You only get a few minutes there though as the North start to bring their tourists in at the same time, just to be annoying. While you're there the North Koreans soldiers try to intimidate you by unstrapping their guns and staring menacingly at you. However, its the one place where the ceasefire treaty says tourists can photograph them, which is a good, if petty, way of getting your own back (before making a quick exit).

This visit also means i've legally been to North Korean (tick). To take a tour of the North costs a non-North Korean thousands of quid a day for the privilege, and they get cancelled at no notice with no refund if Mr Kim is having a bad hair day.

The rest of the tour (apart from walking down a tunnel the North dug to try and invade the South but which was discovered before they could use it), was an anti climax. They even tried to pass off a deserted railway station as an attraction. Yawn.



Climbed a hill in the centre of the city today and had a packed lunch while taking in the views. It then started to rain, so after a quick visit to an old prison built by the Japanese during their occupation to incarcerate the Korean "patriotic ancestors" (sic), we went back to the hotel.

DAY 58 - Beijing, China

The train from Ulaan Baator to Beijing promised so much but delivered so little. On boarding we found a modern, clean car with three toilets, a shower and even little TVs above each berth. In practice, none of this mattered because we had the most unhelpful, bad tempered, awkward, evil cabin attendant in all train-dom. She kept two of the toilets permanently locked and only opened the other for a half hour at a time at random points on the trip causing massive queues. She kept turning the TVs off mid film and refused to put the air con on for much of the trip. The cow. We were sharing our cabin with two Norwegian girls. She particularly didn't like them because they were better looking than her and could manage a smile occasionally.

I was last in Beijing in 2001 and found the place quite intimidating. There was no English anywhere and i had to count to dots on the subway map to try and work out where to get off. How things have changed. Apparently there's some sort of sporting event going on here. You wouldn't know if it wasn't for every billboard and every lamppost being draped in banners stating "Beijing 2008"; if it wasn't for speakers blurting out the official Olympic theme at top volume in every public park, square and space; if it wasn't for all the little ladies rushing up to help you every time you stop moving for more than 5 seconds. Actually, after Russia, everyone here has been fantastically helpful. Half the population appears to have been on an English course (although most of the official written translations, e.g. in museums, are still rubbish). And best of all on only 14 occasions has someone rolled up some phlegm in the back of their throats and spat in front on me. Compared to last time, that's nothing.


The food here has been very interesting with a huge choice, although we haven't strayed too far into the erm, really different stuff. The Peking duck was ok if a little fatty, but we skipped on the sheep's testicles and donkey dumplings. The night market had the most exotic dishes but the best meal was at a Manchurian restaurant today with massive portions and beer for all under a fiver. The food was very similar to the stuff you'd get in a takeaway back home (except everything didn't taste of fish).

On the first day we had a long walk through the main sights. It was raining most of the day with a particularly heavy downpour in the morning. It was good to see the Forbidden City again outside of a tour, which in 2001 went straight through the middle of the complex with barely a minutes rest to take a breath. We spent the evening in a rather garish bar area by the side of a lake supping the local brew and watching drunks paddle in duck boats. No fatalities witnessed.

I've a particular aversion to Chinese tours as they tend to spend most of the time taking you to shops for a hard sell, but it was the only way for us to get to the Great Wall given our Mandarin is a bit limited. So yesterday we decided to go to the Mutainyu section of the wall rather than the usual Balading section as it was supposed to be quieter. The weather had improved no end, but as expected we had an hour and a half of the "day" tour at the wall and then two shops for the rest of the day. The silk factory was particularly mind-numbing.

For our final day here we went to the Temple of Heaven. The sun was really strong and by 14:00 we'd had enough. We had an early lunch, some beer and and early night. Got a morning flight tomorrow to Seoul...

Rich.

DAY 53 - Ulaan Baator, Mongolia

Crossing the border into Mongolia took eight hours, two "Magnet" ice creams and one particularly threatening scowl (from the Russia border guard – I smiled, only weakly, at her when giving over my passport. Clearly I wasn't taking the situation seriously enough). Like the previous train, it was full of vodka drunks with dubious personal hygiene, all wanting to be your friend (provided you had some more vodka).

The countryside in Mongolia is incredibly beautiful – even in the pouring rain. Miles and miles of undulating hillsides covered in green grass, broken only by the odd river and mobile phone mast (well, you're got to build mobile phone masts). It's like the Yorkshire Dales only on a much, much bigger scale. There are no fences or walls dividing the land into fields and there are few trees. Ulaan Baator on the other hand is a Soviet inspired, soulless dump of an eyesore. Think Westminster council deciding to open a landfill site in Regent's Park, and you're not far off. There's supposed to be a large programme of knocking down the old stock of high rise housing and rebuilding it from scratch, but they've clearly got a long way to go. The situation wasn't helped on Monday when we drove through that Mongolia had won a second gold medal at the Olympics. There had clearly been quite a party. Although it was difficult to work out where the long term urban decay ended and the newly added debris from the previous night started, I'm pretty sure the crashed bus was fairly recent.

We were to spend the first two nights here in a Ger Tent in Terelj National Park, but on the way we stopped off at some local's tent to see how it's done properly. The couple who lived there were very welcoming and, in between milking the Yaks and rounding up the sheep, offered us some of the local delicacies. Of particular interest to foodies out there would be the fermented (horse) mare's milk (airag). It was very sour and conjured up images of pouring vodka into milk that's been left in the sun for a few weeks. There were various other cheese and cream products but I decided not to ask where they came from and politely tried a bit of each.

The Ger camp we stayed at was quite basic (cold showers again, despite there being a little box with red glowing lights on it promising the opportunity of warm water; it was alas not to be). The Ger's themselves are round, about 6 meters in diameter and have a wood stove in the middle. The furniture is just about ok – the beds are a bit hard with the mattress only being about 3cm thick – and we couldn't keep the damn stove alight for love nor money, so it was really cold in the mornings. All of this slumming was worth it though for the jaw-dropping scenery. No photos could do it justice. The area around the park is similar to the rest of the country only there are hundreds of granite rock formations worn out of the landscape like at Brimham Rocks in Yorkshire. But best of all, there's nobody else here. You can see for literally hundreds of miles and see absolutely no-one. Clearly there are some people out there, but – to further the Yorkshire Dales analogy – you don't risk twisting your ankle on poor man-made footpaths cutting through the natural scenery (there aren't any footpaths) whilst trying to avoid the hordes of middle-aged day trippers in their brand new fluorescent pink waterproofs who are equally trying to control their screaming kids who would rather be sat in front of their PS3 than enjoying the natural world. It's utterly silent apart from the wind through the (few) trees and buzz of giant grass-hopper wings. Good eh? J

Rich.

Over Lake Baikal.

DAY 50 - Irkutsk, Russia

Just to balance all that derogatory stuff I wrote about the Moscovites, I can happily report that most of the other Russian people I've met have been really nice, decent people (although they still don't smile). Lilianna, the lady who was sharing our compartment, was really sweet and spent the whole trip doing Sudoku puzzles. In Irkutsk the people were generally pleasant enough.

 

We arrived early in the morning, were picked up from the station and taken straight away to Listvyanka on the shores of Lake Baikal. Just to bore you with a few facts, it's the deepest lake in the world and contains over 20% of all the non-polar fresh water in the world. It's also very pretty which is just as well, because there's bugger all to do in the village itself except stare at the water. On the first day we had a look in the local museum with its pickled fish and couple of Nerpa Seals (cruelly kept in a tank no bigger than a shed – but at least they weren't pickled), then took a chair lift to the top of a hill to stare at the lake again (but from a slightly different angle).

 

The second day was better. A local guide took us for a hike along the side of the lake through Port Baikal along the old Trans-Siberian Railway tracks. Originally the railway followed the edge of the lake but the route weaved and turned so much they couldn't go very fast as they had to keep an eye out for rock slides on the track and gormless British tourists taking pictures of the lake, oblivious to anything going on around them. We had a nice camp fire before heading back.

 

On both nights we had a banya. This is just a sauna, only the Russians flail themselves with birch twigs repeatedly to encourage the impurities to ooze out. They were quite relaxing actually and I could see the attraction of them particularly in winter when it could get to -30C outside. (The lake completely freezes over in winter and the locals drive over to the other side.)

 

Saturday we were taken back to Irkutsk for a look around the city. It's really quite a typical European-style city and in general Siberia has turned out to be nothing like I imagined. I'm sure that would all be different in winter though when there's half a meter of snow on the ground.

 

Part of the deal on this trip was to use "homestays" rather than hotels. We thought these would involve us occupying someone's spare room and eating with the family so we thought this would be fun. The homestay in Listvyanka wasn't like this at all though, it was a bit of a hole. The bedclothes stank of old sweat and the toilet was of the poo-and-view variety. The owner didn't actually live there: he sent round the cleaner each meal time to shove some pre-packaged food onto a plate for us. The homestay in Irkustk was much better, complete with little old lady in huge lensed glasses (think the super-suit maker from The Incredibles). The room was pretty and she cooked the wonderful food herself.

 

Had a bit of an electrical disaster on the train before Irkutsk. Camcorder charger blew-up. The plug socket on the train was a bit loose and I think I'd stacked too many converters, splitters and chargers on top of each other, jenga-style, for it to cope with. Iain's bringing out the replacement when we get to Japan.

 

On the train now to Ulaan-Baator. We had to get up at 03:30 to catch it and then it was an hour and a half late. So I'm grumpy today. Get over it.

 

Rich.

DAY 45 - Barabinsk (i think), Russia

Last day in Moscow we went to the Kremlin to have a look around. Most of it seems quite modern except for the churches, of which there are at least five, right next to each other. One clearly wasn’t enough for the Tsars - that’s almost a different church for each day of the week. I got whistled at again by a soldier for sitting on the step of some faceless soviet era carbuncle.

 

After that we headed for Sculpture Park where all the old soviet statues of Lenin, Stalin, etc were dumped when the USSR fell apart. Since then they’ve added some more recent works including a barbed wire cage containing hundreds of stone heads to represent the hundreds of thousands of victims of Stalin’s purges. It been appropriately placed right behind a statue of the man himself.

 

After tea in a rather weird canteen-style restaurant called “moo-moo” we headed back to the hotel for the pick up to the train station. The taxi was late, of course. Finding the train was relatively straight forward though and we were greeted at the entrance to our car by a surly looking provodnitsa. She’s the lady who keeps the passengers in line while they’re on the train, makes sure the toilets are kept clean and (if your lucky) keeps the samovar (large hot water dispenser at the end of each car) topped up. The guide book advises to “butter up she-who-must-be-obeyed at every opportunity”. Quite. I finally got her to smile when I tried out my Russian (straight out of the guide book) to buy a bottle of water. I’m sure she was laughing at me…

 

There’s four to a cabin in second class but Dan and I only have one companion, an oldish lady whose name escapes me. She doesn’t speak any English but that hasn’t stopped all communication. So far I’ve managed to work out she’s descended from Genghis Khan and has been to Bulgaria. I’ll keep at it…

 

The trip we’re on involves three trips on the train. We’re currently on the first leg to Irkutsk on day 2 of 3. It’s really hot on board but fortunately there’s air conditioning which does a wonderful job of keeping the temperature at a barmy 30-odd degrees Celsius. And don’t forget there are no showers on board. It’s a bit cooler today though.

 

As for the scenery, well, that’s mainly trees with the odd burnt out shell of an old factory. We’ve passed into Asia now, going through the Urals last night. None of the stations we’ve been through have had any signs up saying where they are, so I’ve been using the GPS on my phone to work it out. Unfortunately Nokia seems to have forgotten about Asian Russia when drawing their maps so I’ve now abandoned that method and an relying on the timetable to work out which station to get off at. Wish us luck…

 

DAY 42 - Moscow, Russia

Back on the road again. Flew to Moscow yesterday. The hotel we're staying in is one of five large tower blocks which formed the athletes village for the 1980 Olympics. They're outside the centre of the city and I'd expected them to be cheap and rubbish, but they're surprisingly decent, only lacking air con. It's over 30 degrees here during the day and not much less during the night, but last winter it got down to -30 apparently, so i suppose it's not worth installing air con in most places.

 

The first thing you notice here is that some people have a lot of money. The second thing you notice is that they clearly flaunt it everywhere they go, so much so that (to me at least) it comes across as really crass. (There is no jealousy involved, honest.) It's as if all the bin men from Basildon suddenly won the pools - it doesn't seem to matter if you need it: if it's in, you've got to have it. Witness the huge cars blocking the streets, endless Apple iPhones littering the tables like disregarded crisp packets and the in-yer-face designer labels (I swear some of the D&G sunglasses are bigger than the heads wearing them). I've also decided to promote Muscovites above Tanzanians in the really bad taste shoes league (although some of the pairs i saw outside Bank tube station when i was on secondment were much worse, this was generally a localised effect caused by too many bankers). I shall say no more.

 

I know all this this doesn't sound much different to some parts of London, but most people here don't have anywhere near as much, including those we would term as "the middle classes". Apparently, the gap between the rich 1% and the rest is so great, other Russians are not allowed to come to Moscow without written permission as the authorities are worried it'll flood the place with beggars, make the place look untidy and getting in the way of their 4x4s.

 

On arrival we immediately got the metro into the city centre. Approaching Red Square is one of those moments where you suddenly realise you're going to see something in the flesh which you've seen countless times before on telly. As I approached the arch at the edge of the square and took my first sight of St Basil's Cathedral it was quite a moment. Of course it's never as big as you expected.

 

This morning we had a walking tour and picked up some interesting tit-bits from the guide. We paid a visit to Lenin who, owing to being pumped full of formaldehyde and dipped in wax, didn't have much to say. I got moved on by an overly (in my opinion) officious soldier for walking too slow. It's completely true that people don't smile here - particularly the waiters in the restaurants who seem to think they're doing you a favour by turning up for work. Anyway, Lenin was pretty creepy. You can't help but imagine the cleaner wiping him down one day and accidentally catching his face with the duster causing his nose to fall off. He can't possibly stay like that forever.

 

We saw a small bunch of old folk parading to Red Square with old USSR flags. Apparently there are plenty of people here who still hanker after the "good old days" of rationing, lack of ability to travel and general living-on-the-edge-of-war stuff. They're mostly old though. The young just seem to want a new iPod.

 

St Basil's is the most interesting church i've ever seen. It's made up of nine chapels, each separate but joined together so none is very large and most of the inside of the structure is wall. Each has it's own alter but the maximum number of people you could get into most of them would be about 15. Nice turnip shaped domes though.

 

Anyway, i need to go and evaporate a bit more. Getting on the trans-siberian for four days tomorrow. Will officially stink by Irkutsk.

 

Rich.

DAY 25 - Orpington, UK

Back home now for a few weeks. Just done 7 loads of washing. Ironing is going to be hell.

 

The scenic flight over the Okavango Delta was fantastic. Although the place looks like a grassy savanna, it's not - most of the grass is actually reed beds sat in a metre of water. Even from the air we couldn't see many large animals. It's not like they could be hiding anywhere - there aren't large swathes of forest and as far as i'm aware elephants can't stand on tip-toes, so they couldn't have been behind the individual trees that dotted the otherwise low-level landscape. The scenery was great though and there were herds of wildebeest and the like. Broke my rule about never getting on a plane with a propeller though...

 

That evening the tour leader, Manny, announced he had a twisted testicle (sic.) and would be leaving the tour for an emergency operation. Ouch.

 

After Maun and the Okvanga Delta we had a long drive through Botswana. We were heading to Johannesburg, but it was a hell of a long way. The Kalahari desert isn't the featureless sand dunes of the Sahara, it's semi-arid which means sand and spiky bushes. But this is just as uninteresting to look at when it goes on and on and on... We drove for a day and the scenery never changed.

 

The trip notes stated that we'd stop and camp in the desert, sitting around a warm fire toasting marshmallows, etc, etc. However, Mike (the remaining tour leader) didn't want to arrive the next day in Johannesburg after dark (something about murder, rape and pillage), so we kept going until dusk, reaching the border town of Lobatse.

 

Despite driving around for about an hour to find a mythical camp site, we couldn't find it so headed back to a motel we'd past earlier. Mike was a little embarrassed about the fact we were going to have to pay for our accommodation but he went off to ask the rates. The motel only had 5 rooms, as only 3 of those had hot water. It wasn't the nicest hotel and the owner seemed strangely reluctant to let us stay. Still it was warm and he let us in eventually. In the morning we clicked that the owner was clearly more used to renting out the rooms by the hour, which explained the other "guests"; some drunk, most unfriendly and disproportionately male. The pipes also kept banging all night.

 

Next day we headed for Johannesburg and stayed in a very nice hotel (the only night worker there was the security guard) for our final night. We walked to a local steak restaurant that evening and each ate half a cow (except the veggies who chewed on a couple of forlorn carrots). Dan had a huge kebab dangling on a skewer (see pic). The local houses in Johannesburg clearly took security very serious given the height of the fences and the very unsubtle implied threats of violence to anyone who dares so much as ring on the doorbell.

 

Got a few weeks off now before Moscow. I've uploaded some of the best pics  (http://picasaweb.google.com/richlwill0/20080728AfricaBest/photo#map or see website www.energiser.net).

Victoria falls. Plus, its cold in the back of this truck...

DAY 18 - Maun, Botswana

Monday was a drive day again when we crossed into Botswana. At least all the roads are sealed here and not full of potholes. The problem here is the foot and mouth checks. The country has an agreement with the EU to sell it beef, provided it remains disease free. That meant for us stopped every 10 to 15 miles to get off the bus, walk through some soda ash to disinfect our feet and have the truck sprayed. It also meant hiding the meat from the truck's cool boxes under the tents in the back, as you're not allowed to transport meat around the country. Apparently.

 

Maun is the gateway to the Okavanga Delta. The Okavanga river, which starts 1,500 km away, never reaches the sea it just gets shallower and wider once it hits Botswana and then either evaporates of sinks into the sand. We had a bush camp last night. We used small dug-out boats called Mokoros to get to a small island in the delta. The boats are propelled by a geezer on the back with a pole. They don't feel particularly stable, but everyone just lowered their centres of gravity and hoped for the best.

 

We had a couple of game walks and camped the night under the stars. Sounds rough, but we'd brought the cook with us, so we had it pretty easy. "Sailed" back today.

 

Anyway, this internet use is ridiculously expensive so i'm off. Going for a flight over the delta.

 

Rich.

DAY 15 - Livingstone, Zambia

Victoria Falls were fantastic. You can only see some of them from the Zambian side, but they were still very impressive. There's a long zig-zagging canyon where the falls have eroded and moved back over thousands of years. You can't really see it from the ground, but just got back from a microlight flight over the area. It's breathtaking. There's a pic on the blog below this entry (www.energiser.net). No idea why it's sideways. Try turning your monitor on it's side.

We walked down to the bridge between Zambia and Zimbabwe, and crossed over the border line mid way (so that's another country for the list, Sean) but didn't enter the country proper. Didn't want to give money to Mugabe and besides, you have to pay another £75 to get back into Zambia. Bit of a rip-off.

One of the group did the bungee jump. He wasn't so concerned with the jump as with the fact they wrote in very large characters on his arm his weight (105kg) where everyone could see. I've done one before in New Zealand. Once was enough.

Last night we had a booze cruise down the Zambezi to watch the sunset. Great fun but every time someone saw an elephant or hippo, everyone on board would run to the requisite side of the boat causing the whole thing to list. Still, no-one seemed too concerned and put the sliding bottles down to being drunk.

Rich.

DAY 14 - Livingstone, Zambia

The evening drive through the Luangwa Park was even better than the morning one. There were lions sat watching the sun set, leopards stalking their pray and hyenas... er... laughing. It didn't start off too promising. We didn't see much for the first hour and the guide resorted to saying "look! an elephant at night!", "look! a small unidentifiable black blob on the distant horizon... at night!".

Back in the camp, an elephant had wandered up towards the bar and restaurant (although it didn't order anything) and i tried to get my picture taken with it. I slowly backed towards it while facing the camera but when i got within 10 meters, it gave a very loud trumpet and i felt it best to scarper before being trampled to death.

Next day was a long drive to Lusaka where we stayed in the Eureka campsite for a night. In the morning we drove to Livingstone and the Victoria Falls. The road down here started off well enough, but you could tell where they ran out of money - about 60km from Livingstone. The road's condition seriously deteriorated with massive potholes liberally sprinkled over the tarmac, making the rest of the journey more like a bounceathon than a normal drive. Apparently, the money earmarked for finishing the roadworks had been siphoned off by corrupt officials. It wouldn't be so bad, but there are only three roads in Zambia that actually go anywhere.Hardly taxing to make sure they're kept in good condition. TIA.

Life on the truck on the long drives has settled down. Everybody changes seats each trip so everyone gets a go in the good, warm seats (the front) and the cold but good view seats (the back). We've stopped at several supermarkets on the way to stock up on biscuits, crisps and pop. This is not good. Some people are eating packet and packet of biscuits and we're not getting much exercise.

On the health front, Dan's got a really bad cold and is a bit miserable. Fortunately we brought some pills which are helping, but not much. I'm slowly getting over the runs after two weeks of it. Delightful.

Did i mention all the plugs we've seen so far on the trip have all be UK style? Very handy. Weather is definitely changing as we drive further south. The days are sunny and warm but the nights are getting colder. Last night was my first night in a tent for four nights and it was flipping chilly by morning.

Well, booked all the activities for the next two days we've got here this morning. Going to see the falls in an hour. Can't wait!!

Rich.

DAY 11 - South Luangwa National Park, Zambia

Hi all.

Having a great day today, but more on that later.

I've decided not to be cynic about the Malawi village. All the people were really nice and i can't blame them for trying it on. As one of them said "TIA" - this is Africa. I think he meant don't expect the same rules to apply here as they do at home.

Anyway, had a swim in Lake Malawi in the late afternoon two days ago. Was great fun, especially without the salt. Only when we came out did someone tell us about the little fish that inhabit the lake. Apparently they swim up men's privates and hook themselves in. Supposed to be very painful. No kidding! Did you know 95% of aquarium fish species originated in Lake Malawi. It's a fact, don't you know.

The guy who runs the trip has a "Did you know..." session every night and anyone who calls the truck a bus has to contribute. Apparently the vehicle is very sensitive to being called names. Yeeesss....

Yesterday was an all day drive. Eleven hours of fun. But to be honest, the time goes quite quickly as you stick your head out the window and watch the world go by. That's assuming the next container lorry doesn't decapitate you and you can stand the dust billowing up of course. We crossed into Zambia mid afternoon. One of the party had forgotten to bring his Yellow Fever certificate, so the tour leader had to bribe the immigration official. TIA. He'd quite clearly done a similar thing before as he managed to get the original demand down from $400 to $20. Bargain!

We arrived at South Luangwa NP after dark and the camp site is fantastic. No tents, but chalets with hot water (that's really hot water, not the tepid stuff we've had before) and electricity (well, after 1900 and before 0900). I was woken about three in the morning by a hippo going past the window! It was only 2 meters from us!! We got up early and found that the river is only about 100 meters away and all the wildlife wanders up to the campsite during the night to forage. Fantastic!

This morning we had a nature walk and safari drive through the park. Saw plenty of Zebra, Elephants, Hippos and Monkeys. No lions yet, but we're going on another drive tonight - two hours in the light, two hours in the dark.

Laters

Rich.

DAY 9 - Kandie Beach, Malawi

I thought i'd make the most of having the internet connection and tell you about what happened this morning.

We went for what was billed as a village tour. The second we set foot outside the camp site we were mobbed by locals. They were all very nice and wanted to be our friend. A kid called Caesar (apparently because his mother had a Cesarean section) latched himself onto me. The tour took us through the village showing us their well, the food they grow and even into someone's home. It was quite humbling how little they have.

Next stop was the local school. The kids were fantastic. They all wanted to have their picture taken and then to see it on the camera screen. We went into a class room and all the kids sang to us which was really touching. In the school's library the head teacher sat us down and asked us if we wanted to give a donation or sponsor a child. Most did.

Next we went to the hospital, Caesar was still in tow and so were all the cute little kids. We met the doctor and then made another donation.

Up to this point i was feeling really good about it all. We'd seen some pretty tough conditions but the people were all fantastic. However, as we approached the gate back to the camp site the sob stories started. Caesar had many problems i could help with, etc, etc. I'd been expecting that but when we got inside the camp one of the other members of the group told us that when she'd hung back to talk to some of the older kids at the school they'd all told her that the headmaster kept most of the money we'd donate for himself and his family, and any pictures we'd get through the post from sponsoring a child would be of his children. We don't know if it's true or not but it took the edge off it a bit.

It appears it's no coincidence that the only fat people we'd seen were the police and the headmaster himself.

Anyway, I thought i'd write something about the group we're travelling with. There are 16 of us in all and 3 staff (two Zimbabwean drivers and guides, Mani and Mike, and a Kenyan chef, Pete). Most of the other people are British or Irish and largely they're professional types. It's quite hard work living tooth and jowl with 16 strangers and sometimes it's great just to disappear for an evening and do my own thing. No major bust ups yet. I consider myself lucky i'm not on the other truck currently camped here. They're on a 90 day trip and were having a fancy dress party last night. They were all wearing bin liners. Tackarama. All that pressure to be jolly all the time would really get on my nerves.

Rich.

DAY 8 - Kande Beach, Malawi

Hi there.

 

Seems like ages since i've been on the 'net, but it was only last Tuesday. The connections are pretty temperamental. We stopped somewhere called Mzuzu for lunch and we found an internet cafe there, but no sooner had we sat down and the power to the town went out. The power here only came on at 17:00.

 

We left Zanzibar last Tuesday. The ferry crossing back was pretty rough and many people were ill on the way back. Mostly down their fronts (think of the film Kill Bill vol 1 and the Japanese room). Back in Dar es Salaam we were introduced to the truck we'll be on for the next three weeks. The sides are open to the elements and there are rolldown bits of plastic instead of windows. It's a bit of a Swiss army knife on one side where the stove pulls out and there's a water tank and everyone has a separate locker to put their stuff in. For the rest of the trip we're camping.

 

First night we camped on the beach just outside town, then drove for 11 hours into the interior. We passed through our first national park on the way (i saw my first wild elephants, giraffe and baboons! how exciting!). After camping the night (we discovered in the morning we'd camped on a very large spiders nest) we resumed the drive to a tea plantation and had a guided tour. See pic previously sent. Apparently they sell all the tea in this part of Tanzania as Fair Trade.

 

Friday night we camped in a religious school and had to endure an entire night without a bar. It's funny that most of these campsites can't provide hot water, decent loos or showers, but always seem to have a bar. The place was generally a bit austere in other regards too. The loos were of the hover variety, which isn't much good when half the truck's compliment are suffering the runs.

 

Saturday we crossed over into Malawi. Although it had been the case in Tanzania too, more so in Malawi we were struck by just how friendly the people are. All the kids would run out to the road waving with massive grins on their face, and they didn't even want to sell you anything. The adults were pretty chatty too. Turns out that the roads are very much the focus of the towns and villages. When you look at a map of this part of Africa and see only a few straggly lines, you probably don't realise you're looking at ALL the roads. There are quite a few dirt tracks, but they're not really laid out roads in a European sense.

 

Saturday afternoon and night was spent on the shore of Lake Malawi. It's a fantastic place and looks just like the coast by the sea, except of course the tide never goes out or comes in, and the water is salt-free. We were woken up at five in the morning by banging and shouting. Turns out the locals were sailing in for a morning's fishing so we hung around for the sunrise and had a chat with them. They like to practice their English, you know...

 

The plan for today was to drive in to the mountains and camp the night in the Luwawe forest, but the heavens opened and turned the road into a mud bath, so we diverted back to the lake and this place, Kande Beach. Oh dear. What a shame. Only sand, sun and the lake here. What will we do?

 

Rich.

DAY 6 - Mbeya, Tanzania

No internet for several more days yet im afraid. In the meantime heres a pic from the tea plantation we went to today. I drink enough of the stuff, so it was good to see where it comes from...

DAY 3 cont

Nungwi beach. And me.

DAY 3 - Nungwi, Zanzibar, Tanzania

All

 

Up next was Nungwi (see map on www.energiser.net). It's what Malaga would be like if it was moved to Africa and you took away all the Northern Europeans and Hotels. White beaches, palm trees and hardly any people. The locals walk around going about their daily lives as if you weren't there. The sea is warm and calm and there are no kids running around the place screaming their heads off.

 

Can't last.

 

Still haven't worked out why the local ladies keep asking me if i want my hair braided though...

 

Will try and send a pic from the phone later, but that's likely to be even slower than this internet connection.

 

Rich.

DAY 2 - Stone Town, Zanzibar, Tanzania

Hello all.

 

Just a quick one to start off. Got the flight over from Heathrow to Dar es Salaam. Got served last AGAIN on the flight. Had to have the veggie "option", some sort of pureed aubergine. (BA have got a great new video-on-demand in flight entertainment system though...)

 

Anyway, on arrival we met the rest of the group (mostly normal) and got a ferry to Zanzibar. We only just made it to the terminal in time and our seats had been given away (as appears to be the local custom) to the highest bidder. After a minor fuss with the attendant, we finally got some seats but they were right under the aircon (which is probably why they were still empty). Two and a half hours later we defrosted in the sun of Stone Town. We had to get our own luggage off the boat because the porters wouldn't do it unless you bribed them, despite it being their job. They looked a bit miffed though when we did it ourselves.

 

Went on a great spice tour yesterday. It basically consisted of showing us the plants / trees / pods that household spices come from. Apparently they don't grow in little pots with Schwartz on them...

 

Had a meal in a nice little beach-side restaurant last night, under the stars. Shame the service didn't match the setting. Took 2.5 hours for the food to arrive. Was too tired to care by then though.

 

For more entries, pictures and maps, see www.energiser.net.

 

Rich. 

DAY 0 - London

Here we go then...

Off to Heathrow in a couple of hours to get the first flight to Dar Es Salaam.

Been through usual pre-departure rubbish. Have I got the right clothes? How hot / cold / humid will it be? Do i have enough emergency biscuits??

Oh well. Too late now. I can feel the Larium kicking in...